Sunday, April 25, 2010

Trivial updates.

Pergh.... lama gila tak blog! Too tired to blog after work. Sometimes tak tired mana pun, but i am just lazy. Dengan laptop yang kejap kejap mati, and internet at home yang sucks, slow sangat, i cannot stand it, so i don't blog.

Tomorrow is Monday and keje and patutnya sudah tidur sekarang but i am waiting for a call.

I sleep early. I think the girls yang pernah 1 room 1 dorm with me at school at college knew that i am an early sleeper. Sleeper? Haha. Funny. Whateva. I think the only thing that makes me sleep after 12 is midnight movie. Hehe.

Ops. Hanafee is calling! Hehe. Bye blog!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

A short Poem

Honesty in all earnesty,
Passion in love and life,
Hardwork and modesty,
For value of life we strive.

Intelligent design and believe,
believe that hope drowns sorrow,
We shall if we need stay naive,
and hope that there's a better tomorrow.

And we shall hold these words in our heart,
from now until the end of day,
till soul and body chooses to part,
forever I promise these word will stay.

-Hanafee Abdul Rahman-

Friday, April 9, 2010


"And He Gripped me Tight and Raised Me From Perdition"

I woke up and watched the rotating fan on the ceiling. Like any other day, my eyes was blinded in the beginning by the ray of sunlight beaming through the open space of my curtains. Already I can hear the outside bustling world of cars and motorbikes and trains and trams. I blinked a few times. Sat up on the side of my bed, and then faced the ray of light straight in the eye. I wondered for a second, if today, I would see Him again. Like that night. The night He gripped me tight and raised me from perdition.

Perdition means hell. Perdition means eternal damnation. Forever tortured for the days spent in a way-ward manner. But there are many hells. There is the hell we've all grown up learning about. And then theres our own kind of hell. Our own brand of hell. The hell we put ourselves through due to guilt.

And I Left A Mark Burning Red On Your Right Shoulder As Images of Demons Chasing After You Shivered Your very Own Humanity.

The cold water was running down my whole body as I felt the five fingers on my right shoulder. I turned the warm water off and stood in front of the mirror. I moved my body to the side taking a long look at the hand print on my right shoulder. Red, Burning, as if to indicate how tightly He had gripped me. To raise me from the demons, to raise me from perdition.

It did to an extent.... shivered my humanity.

Earlier, I had looked at the stars. Why me? Why do I deserve to saved?

"You do not believe you deserve to be saved?"

No.... I dont think I deserve any of this....

"It is a terrible feeling... to feel like you do not deserve grace... why do you shoulder this burden? Why do you allow yourself to be crushed under the weight of the world?"

Because... I know no other way..

"You are loved my son.... If you are kept here... it is because there is task you must finish..."

--tears welled up--

What if Im not strong enough?

"Have faith my son... I did not make you weak..."

Months after that.... I walk the same path he had lain before me before perdition. Before Hell, torment and torture. Only now... I know... I am stronger. Because I have faith.. there fore.. I am stronger.

The End

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Voices in my head

Kalau setiap kali tulis pun nak fikir apa pandangan orang bila dah baca.
Baik tak payah tulis kan?

Kalau setiap kali cakap pun nak fikir apa pandangan orang bila dah dengar.
Baik tak payah cakap kan?

Kalau setiap kali buat something nak fikir apa pandangan orang bila tengok.
Baik tak payah buat kan?

Tak payah buat semua. Simpan je dalam mimpi. Simpan je dalam otak dalam hati.

Tak boleh. Itu tak boleh. Ini tak boleh.

In your dream. IN YOUR DREAM.

Kita hidup bermasyarakat.

Unless you are living with people yang tak kisah. Then that's fine. Good for you.