A tribute to Sabrina

For a guy like me (which ever way you want to think of it) it is hard to admit my feelings openly, ITS VERY HARD. Its my girlfriends birthday so i wrote this tribute a few days ago so i can post it here for another surprise after her class today. By the way, sayang... you are so predictable.. i knew you were gonna message me as soon as you read the blog heheh so i posted another one as soon as you did.... love you...

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Dear Sayang....

I remember the first thing we did together as friends, we played a prank on all your friends because guys were hounding after you and you wanted them to know you already had someone. So we decided to tell them about me, the guy who was your guy even though you never met me before hehe... that sparked an amazing relationship, consisting of pain, hurt but above all else love. I love the fact that youre actually stronger than me, you know what you want and you go get it. Sometimes i tell you to slow down but i also know that youre a force of nature, trying to stop you is like trying to stop a hurricane or an earthquake. I like how you tell me what to do and what not to do. Because even though you know i wont do it or i wont stop doing it, you try anyway and then you shake your head as if you were dealing with a 6 year old. I love the fact that you let me be a kid and be patient with me.

She doesnt know how to hide her feelings. I remember the first gift i ever gave her she smiled as if she just graduated and got a 10000 job offer. I like it when i have something sweet to say and she looks away embarrassed as if i had just done something idiotic in front a million people when in reality, she was embarrassed at me. I like the fact that she likes playing 21 questions, even more so when we're in the cinema. So you can imagine, he we are in a cinema and she starts the game.

"Why is that like that?"
"Why jadik macam tu?"
"why that girl cakap macam tu?"
What happened?" this is my favorite hehe its like shes not even watching
"I dont like this story coz i dont understand it...."
"Eh eh why dia pukul lelaki tu??" shes already decided she doesnt like it and yet the question continues.

When i tell people this, they say im annoyed, and to a certain extent i am, but above all i like thinking about it and laughing and realize that if she wasnt who she is, then i wouldnt have love her the way i do. So what seems to be something negative, makes me love her more and counts as a positive for me.

I like how she says she okay with everything. "lets go to Times Square" she says "Okay." But as soon as we get there, she goes "alamak nanti pak long nampak (sulking face)" and we go somewhere else. She does this so often that i anticipate it everytime, sometimes i dont even park until i hear her say "alamak" and i drive her somewhere else. Everytime she feels someone is getting too close she does the stay-away-from-my-bf face. Shes gonna say "No i dont!!" but sayang admit it, you do it, its who you are and i love you for it.

She does not like losing. She once asked me to teach her to play chess so i thought okay, we bought a chess set and went to teluk cempedak and bought some nuggets to eat while we play. OK, the only way to learn chess is by playing it. So we played, but by the end of the second game that she lost, she was almost crying. That was funny. The even funnier thing about her is that she thinks every women is like her. When an aunt and her husband came to play too, and the aunt said she didnt know how to play and always lost she said "Masa makcik kalah mesti rasa macam nak nangis kan?" and the Makcik said "Eh takderlah" and again her sulking face. hehe

She assumed the makcik wanted to cry too hehhe.....

I remembered the first time she went to my home town to visit my mom and couldnt find the hospital ward. "Ward mana ni????" i said "Ward lapan, belah kiri lepas turun dari lift." she said "Takder pun.... eh eh ader ader hehehe" when i got to the ward, she was quiet and smiling. Holding my moms hand....... and i saw her.... and my heart stopped... looking at two of the most beautiful woman in my life holding each others hand.... smiling as they see me.... knowing i love them.... it made me want to cry.... it made me the happiest man alive.

My girlfriend is compassionate, friendly (sometimes too friendly for my liking), exhubirant, enthusiastic, passionate, lively, intelligent, bright and a thinker.

she tells me shes not good with words. But i love the fact that she can level me with her eyes, how she makes me feel like i can jump in front of a train and stop it to save her, how she can feel how much i love her and how she can make me feel how much she loves me.... how she looks into my eyes and scream i love u without uttering words. And how she knows i want to shout to the world the same thing.

I love the way we talk with our faces. When words are lost thats when the nose starts moving, the lips starts pouting, the cheeks starts swelling and the hands start moving and we turn into a couple of cute monkeys. Big and small...

if i have to write about everything i like about her, i would have to write a book. If i had to write about what i dont like, id have to write two books hehe... but more than that... if i have to write about her.... id have to open my heart because thats the only way i know how. To write about her i dont need a brain or my mind. i dont contextualize or analyze... i need my heart... i always tell her when you write, write with your heart... but what she doesnt know.... when i write about her... its impossible to write with anything else other than my heart. It is impossible to write without first hearing the depths and beat of my heart because the inspiration comes from how she makes my heart beat. Slow... fast... irregular... and sometimes... she makes it stop..... and with that i write this post.


This is embarrassing for me. My friends are going to read this and their gonna hound me for life and mock me for eternity..... but in truth i dont mind.... when they do mock me.... its just a reminder of how much i love my girlfriend sabrina.... i dont mind being mocked... i dont mind being teased... its for her and i dont mind.....

When youre reading this youre probably thinking this is disgusting or you could think that its sweet.... i dont know and i dont care... but for her i know... she cant wait to get to her phone after she finishes reading this post and msg me or call me and say "i love you" and ill wait for it... ill wait and when i pick up the phone... it will be because she has read this post... and before she says it ill say it first... 'I love you too and happy birthday again!!!!"