Monday, February 11, 2008

A clean well lighted place

I once wrote "we look to the stars and we realize that that capacity might well be limitless" here i add on with this "And it is only because we are surrounded by people whose capacity are as well limitless and their ability to share their capacities that makes US limitless. Every man has limits, but no society has its limits."

As i sat in front of my lecturers who are scared that i might one day return to the boy i once was when i first came to UKM, i listened carefully to their words.

"Hanafee, I dont want you to lose the man you have become, and i understand now that you dont want to lose it too.... dont worry... we'll do our part... As long as you let us know..."

"Hanafee we have all seen you grow from an immature boy to an overwhelming president of students, we all played a part in turning you into who you are today... and we're glad to know that you are who you are and we'll be here for you..."

These were people twice my age. People who need not care what i turn into. People who need not want to care. People who despite all their difficulties in life took the time out of their daily routine to sit me down and tell me that they're more than just my lecturers, they were my friends.

I can never tell them the things they have done for me. I can only say that i know im a hard person to deal with, my girlfriend knows that and so do these people and they took the time to know me. They took the effort to realize that a part of me was also in them and they cherished it. And so will I in the times to come. I have always wanted to tell them... but i couldnt, so im gooing to write it here... just to let it go....

You offer me assistance, whether it was just stopping by to ask for directions to another lecturers room, or if it was stopping by to ask for directions in life, you have always given me the time and effort. When i first came here, the boy that i was, i saw fear, and only fear, and you taught me that the fear, was actually myself and only myself and that you gave me an opportunity to erase those fears out of the journals of my life. And i did, slowly, but surely, i erased the fears in which had held me down in constraints. And i owe it all to them. Dr. Shan, Dr Gana, Dr. Ismaz, Dr. Noraini, Dr. Ruzy, Dr. Zalina, Miss Angie, Miss Anita.... you taught me that everything in life limits you but nothing in life can limit us. and i thank you for that....

There are so many words in my head i want to write down, but again i took from my previous writing.... "the streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight..." Their capacity has made mine limitless... they are the angels that lights the dark alleys of my life in the darkest times... they are the people i want to be, when i can... i want to affect lives as they have... and i want to be proud when i do it because it makes me a little bit like them.... the end....

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