Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Is that beautiful?

When I think of all the beautiful things in life I’d like to do or make happen. I know I wouldn’t have enough pen and paper to list them all. And so I stuff them all in to my brain, wishing and hoping they would all come true. Until it hit me straight in the face... wishes and hopes don’t make things come to reality. So I start being beautiful and do all those beautiful stuff I said I wanted. Hence, I get a beautiful life.

What’s a beautiful life? Is perfect beautiful? Is looking great all the time beautiful? Having all the nice dresses, nice shoes, nice bags, and nice places to go... is that beautiful? What’s nice? Who defines nice, beautiful, great, and wonderful?

There’s a yes and no to that I say.

My beautiful life is filled with ups and downs, with happy moments and sad miseries. If I didn’t understand the meaning of sadness, I wouldn’t know what it would be like to feel happy. If there were no wars, I wouldn’t understand the meaning of peace. If I didn’t fall out of love, I would never truly appreciate the great love that comes my way.

To run and laugh in the park. Go for boat rides. Read a book. take a walk on the beach, sing a song, eat lots of chocolate, strawberries and cream, call a girlfriend, go shopping with my sister, go for dinner with the whole family, laugh a lot, smile even more, loving a loved one with all my heart, do some charity, being happy, being fulfilled. But having just all of these, or even more does not sum up to what I would call a beautiful life...

What makes it beautiful... is when things go wrong, climbing that ladder to something beautiful…And then I fall down and hurt myself...when I get sad, or angry, or annoyed, when I cry, when I stand up... when my tears dry up, when sadness turns to pure happiness, when anger changes to love, when I forgive, when I let go, when I accept, and the sun comes up... that's beautiful to me.

p/s: Dance this life. Dance with me.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Sweet Prank

Sabrina Anwar,

Internship application accepted

In regards to the matter above, we, from ILOVEYOUSABRINA Ltd. would like to extend our deepest gratitude and honor in acknowledging that your skills are widely needed in our company. As you might have already known from our vast and mass website, we are a company that specializes in falling in love with you and we are in desperate need of your skills and talents in many regards. We would like to inform you that unlike most internship offers in other companies, our internship programme does not run for 6 months but rather through a time course of minimal 40 years and maximum 70 years. Your skills which are widely regarded by friends and family would suit our company nicely and we believe you will be able to adapt in our loving enviroment. Together with this email below, we have enclosed particulars on your responsibilities in the company.

  1. Negotiating and understanding our main bos Hanafee Abdul Rahman who can be at time an absolute jackass.
  2. Making him remember that you love him.
  3. Creating a family and a home for his desperate need
  4. To be a life long partner in which both of you will be able to understand, contradict, argue and still be in love with each other.
  5. Overseeing the production of babies in the household
  6. Managing human resource in the family especially during determining who is going to do the dishes and cook.
  7. And lastly, to love and to be loved eternally.

Together with this we have also included a brief information brocher regarding payment of your hard work.

  1. A daily income of hugs and kisses on the cheek
  2. A monthly basic salary of loving and tender care
  3. An annual bonus of eternal loyalty
  4. And a lifetime assurance of comfort, love, loyalty, happiness, kisses, hugs, warm hugs at night, long showers together.
  5. The bright perspective of having a bonus would be included on special occasions such as anniversaries and birthdays.

We hope that our company will be able to accomodate your every need and that we will have good use to your skills. We would also like to extend our deepest gratitude for selecting our company of ILOVEYOUSABRINA Ltd. By the way we are also known as HANAFEELOVESU Inc. in America and IWANTYOUTOKNOWILOVEYOU Corp. in southern parts of Africa. We hope this will dawn an amazing relation between us and we hope you enjoy your stay at the company.

Yours truly,

Anirbas Evol Eefanah

Human Resource Manager,
Iloveyou Street,

p/s: The above letter was sent to my e-mail.
Busy with internship punye pasal, sampai kene prank ngan bf. hehe.
But it was sweet, wasn't it?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Bombs, deaths & babies

Today seven people were killed in a suicide bombing done by militant fanatic Iraq/Islam extrimists. 70 others were badly injured in a bombing strategized against people of same their same religion and faith with different political ideas. I quote "...women and children were amongst the victims and fatalities numbers are expected to rise." Expected to rise.........

For those who are not familiar with newspapers terms and ideas, "expected to rise" means that they have already had an estimation of how many people were reportedly killed in the bombing, and that number is a first indication, an introduction if you have to say, but this number is not true. They see the dead bodies and they touch seven pulses in order to check whether there is pulse and decided only seven died and the other bodies has yet to be establish to be dead. They might be seriously injured and unconcious. The number is expected to rise. We read about these things everyday in the newspaper. People, men and women, going out to suicide missions where they kill the people around them in the name of their so called God. NO GOD lets people kill each other especially those who are of the same religion. No God allows killing for any reason except if you are at threat.

We hear and read about it everyday, but let me make you think for a while how much we really care for it. TV3 news covered this story for 3 minutes, the star took 1 tenth of a page and there were no sources quoted. In the telvision it was somewhere between the weather and business news. That was it. Today we lost seven muslim lives, we pray for them, today we lost children of islam, and we pray for them, today we sent men to hell because they believed they were doing it for islam. Today we realize that people have distorted this interpretation of our sacred religion into a twisted reason and tool for murder. Yesterday we lost an innocent girl to the growing society of violence. And today we lost seven others, and it barely made the news.

We think that because it happens half away across the globe, it does not affect us. But it does. If us, Muslims, make the daily news for killing people of our own faith and religion, regardless of the fact that we know that our religion is pure, then we have actually desecrated the purity of our religion. We ourselves have desecrated it because we believe that what happens to a Muslims in another country has nothing to do with us.

Today, seven people died, and what we cared about was whether a meeting was going to end early. Today seven people died and all we did today was catch another movie. Today seven people were murdered, and all i can do is write and pray for them. I pray these fanatics stop their wrong interpretation of our religion. I pray these seven souls a place in the heavens of god so they shall get their place in heaven because of their suffering. The heavens cries again today for our people. For us.

In two days, our world in which God had made so much effort of creating, has made the angels and heavens cry twice in two days. Yet we kill ourselves and our people because we are different. Today i pray i dont have to see my kids buried in front of me because of bombs. Today i pray for these seven souls angels will hopefuly guide to heaven. Today we sweat for something else, today our heroes were cowards, today we are not man... we were animals. Pray for them... and us..... ourselves. God bless them....


Facing threat from our society that now has turned global and no longer has borders. We spend our times and days in order to find the answer to life which is today a harder thing to find compared to an AK-47. The life today for us is as hard as it was for any people in the past. But the difference though is that today people have a hard time understanding themselves and what they want.

Today we are faced with this problem in our society of missing little girls. As our search little Sharlini intensifies, despite what everyone is thinking and feeling, the unsaid emotion that she might never be found slides in the dark and back corners of our minds. The reward has risen and yet still no information has been found. People have been caught but none has been convicted. And everyday we live in fear of leaving our children our sister and our brothers and our cousins and our nephews and nieces unattended.

Heavens cries and prays for her. We look down today at our feet and cry. The heavens cries for her. We are reminded that in the moment where we find ourselves to be at our best, at a time when we found ourselves to be stabilized, we are again reminded that evil does not rest. And even though we did not invite nor provoke evil we should know that evil lurks and comes when you least expect it.

This is a time for ongoing efforts, a time for heroes to remember the importance of our future that lies in the children. The moment to keep trying to find her and convince society that no matter what happens we will unite in order to save our future. We will look at the stars for guidance and we will sweat, bleed and tear for the ones that we have lost and for the ones we refuse to lose. God we pray to you... save her.... let her be your testament for humanity that you will not let children of your faith go harmed. That you will not let any child or any faith go harmed. God spare her of the humiliation and suffering that others have gone through before this. God let us find her. God let us save her. God let us find her. God let us save her. God...... let her live to tell the people of your faith... You will not give the children of Your faith ill will... she will be saved.... God Save her... because if we cant... then God save us all because, we don't deserve to live...

We and mistakes

The early bird catches the worm; a stitch in time saves nine; he who hesitates is lost.

We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to ‘seize the day'.

Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons.

We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for Benjamin Franklin meant.

That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.

Monday, January 21, 2008

Angels of DUTA

Securing peace in a time of global conflict, sustaining hope in this winter of anxiety and fear. More than anytime in recent history, Our destiny is not of our own choosing. We did not seek, nor did we provoke, an assault on our freedom and on our way of life. We did not expect nor did we invite a confrontation with evil. Yet the true measure of a people’s strength is how they rise to master that moment when it does arrive.

44 people were killed a couple of hours ago at the **** University. Three basketball players from the men’s team were killed, two others are in critical condition when after having heard the explosion from their practice facility they ran into the fire to help get people out. Ran into the fire.

The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight. They’re our students and our teachers and our parents and our friends. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels. That every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge we look up and we’re reminded that that capacity may well be limitless..... This is a time for heroes. We will do what is hard. We will achieve what is great. This is a time for our heroes and we reach for the stars. This for their memory…

For memory of DUTA...... God bless us all.....

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Expectation and Survival

I know... I know you didn’t wake up this morning expecting this was how your Saturday was gonna go. You thought you’d get loving messages in the morning and feel better; instead you read trivial messages and felt numb. You can bitch and complain about it, or you can adjust your expectations. ‘Cause like it or not, you are stuck with me and I’m the kind of person who is liberal and obviously I don’t think like you do. Oh! Plus, when I woke up this morning, I thought today was gonna go a lot differently too. I thought I was gonna get to see a glow at the end of the tunnel. Instead, I get stuck with the darkness! So I'll have to adjust my expectations as well.

And I believe we will survive this. I believe, I believe, I... I believe in the good. I believe that it's been a hell of a year and I believe that, in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, that we will be okay. I believe a lot of things. I believe that... I believe that you is always with me... And I believe there are times when hiding things are the best option when it comes to preventing arguments. And I believe that we are individuals that made a terrible mistake giving a gift away/back and I believe that because we are each other’s best friend we can tell each other this and we can be okay. I believe that even though we made this mistake we will be okay. I believe we survive. I believe that believing we survive... is what makes us survive.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Happy Birthday Seth!

Happy 23rd Birthday Seth!!
Happy Birthday Abang!

You are very special
and you deserve the best.
I wish you a wonderful life
filled with love and happiness.
I hope others bring you joy,
just as you've brought joy to me,
then you can weather any storm
and be all you want to be.

I’m wishing you another year
Of laughter, joy and fun,
Surprises, love and happiness,
And when your birthday’s done,
I hope you feel deep in your heart,
As your birthdays come and go,
How very much you mean to me,
More than you can know.

p/s: i love you

Thursday, January 10, 2008


If you got to this post while looking for Teddy Geiger lyrics or chords i suggest you leave now, but stay if youre interested in good writing. Then you should read on.

As i have suggested so vigorously this is not about a song. But rather the problem that in one or another part of life will evidently come to haunt us. By us i mean students, teachers, parents, bosses, workers, boy, girl, in-betweens... well you get my point. Everyone.

At some point and most point of my life i have faced a situation that leaves my confidence low in the mud and in some minimal cases high soaring through the skies. But like most things in life, the question remains is how to be consistent with it. How to be confident all the time. The answer is you cant. You cannot be confident all the time and sometimes you just cannot be confident at all. In the bible there is a verse that says "Act like thee hath faith, and it shall be given..." basically what it is trying to say is "fake it for awhile until it is given to you...".

I have always believe in that, you have to fake confidence in order to achieve it. You have to think you have it until you stop thinking about it and then just have it.

Confidence is important. Why? because of a few things, let me fill you in on it.

I have always believed that confidence grows you into a better person. Confidence comes with trust and our ability to make others trust us. But most importantly, confidence comes with the ideal that it also make us trust ourselves. When you trust yourself, this is when everything gets good. When you trust yourself, you are able to believe in yourself when you think for the slightest minute that "IT CANNOT BE DONE".

Lets make an examplatory situation. Imagine you are working for a surgeon, you are cutting a man open in order to insert or take out something. Suddenly and arterial burst happens (realize im trying to sound medical here with no success *sigh*) so at that moment you have to have enough confidence in the surgeon when he makes a decision whether to go on with the operation or to cancel it at that moment. If you understand me than move on if not read that last paragraph again.

Now imagine you are the surgeon. You have to have the confidence, belief and trust on yourself that you can do it in order to be able to do it. Now this where the question of choice comes to play. With confidence you are given one advantage, which is to make better choices. Which would you choose? The road that is hardest but you have enough confidence to go on with the surgery and know that you can do it.... or... take the safe road and let the patient go through the excruciating pain of having to go through the operation again.

There is of course no right or wrong choice, but rather a better choice which only comes with confidence.

You see confidence talks more in life then just a surgery operation. But rather that one moment in class that you have to choice to ask or not the question. To keep writing in an answer sheet or stop coz you think writing too much makes you more prone to making mistakes. To stay in bed because something bad happened the day before or get up and try again to change the world and it all lies in confidence.

With confidence you can also make this choice. One to keep telling yourself you wont be able to do it.... or with confidence.. you stop the question and tell yourself... i am smart, steeadfast, resourceful and intelligent enough to do this....

People need confidence, not just to change societies, laws, rules, facts.... but also to change yourself... if Ben Franklin did not have confidence we would be without electricity. If Galileo did not have confidence to contradict Aristotles theory that "a man with heavier weight would fall faster then a man with less weight.." we today would not have the theory of gravitational pull (i sound so scientific here uweekk).

But even more important... without confidence... romeo and Juliet might never told each other they loved each other... a man would have never have kids... without confidence... our life would not just be without technological advancements but rather a world without heart, passion, or even ability....

With confidence you take a better YOU to the world. With confidence... everyone takes a better THEM to make the world a better place.

Why am i writing this... Im telling you... the readers that if you have something on your mind that makes you thinking "I Cant Do this!!!!" then i tell you this...

"You can and you only need yourself to convince yourself you can... you only need confidence..."

"A man without confidence is like a general who has a million armies and keeps them in the warehouse... pretty much like the french" - An American President....

So be confident.. throw your caution to the wind because all you really need is to tell yourself... YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!


Wednesday, January 9, 2008


Maal Hijrah which is also called Awal Muharram is an important day for muslim. It falls on the first day of Muharram on every Muslim calendar year which is the first day on muslim calendar.

The meaning of Maal Hijrah in English is migration. Maal Hijrah also mean changes from bad to good side and can be said as starting point and evaluate inner-self on self achievement.

I would like to wish all the muslim people Selamat Menyambut Maal Hijrah. May this starting point of the new year give us good health n blessing by Allah S.W.T.


from Summer & Seth

And so life begins

Fresh starts thanks to the calendar they happen every year. Just set your watch to January, our reward for surviving the holiday season. Bringing on the great tradition of new years resolutions, put your past behind you and start over. It’s hard to resist the chance for a new beginning, a chance to put the problems of last year to bed.

Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year. It’s an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally, that gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, a way of letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it's also important to remember that, amid all the crap, there are a few things worth holding on to.

It has been 9 days since the birth of the brand new 2008. The beginning of 2008 was indeed a beautiful one for me. I was all smiles, filled with hope and thankfulness of what the New Year may bring.

And so life begins, every day is another new day, just waiting to be discovered.

Saturday, January 5, 2008


This post is the reply to the previous post. Actually I wanted to leave a comment there but I guess it’s too long, so I’ll just publish as a new post. =) Alright, I am not trying to defend girls here ok, just sharing experiences and thoughts. Been there, done that, kind of thing. *smiles*

Seth wrote,

"What’s the need for her to go out with another guy? Did I do something wrong?
Does she not love me anymore? Am I not good enough?"

Girls also have those questions running through their head when it comes to their guy wanting to go out or hang out with another girl.This kind of problem, it depends on the state of the relationship…whether it’s rocky or stable. If it’s rocky, then trust me, both parties don’t want to hear the answers. We all know the truth hurts.

If the other party wants to go out with someone else instead of their significant other during the time when the relationship is not in a good state, then it means the couple has problems. Full stop.

But what if you two are ok, then suddenly your bf/gf asks permission to go out with someone else? I know… I know… we would panic, right? That’s why those questions of self-esteem suddenly pop-up out of no where. *smiles*

And when you come to this point, it’s best if you and your girl/guy talk about it and get the answers to all the questions in your head. This is to make sure both parties understand the situation they are in. If you guys don’t talk, the other party might do something unexpected behind your back in the future like sneaking out to meet the other guy/girl, we don’t want that to happen, do we?

It’s not because you are inadequate, it’s not because he/she doesn’t love you anymore, it’s not because you do something wrong that he/she wants to go out with the other guy/girl.

It’s because they want space to catch up with old friends who happens to be the opposite sex. It doesn't happen always.. Perhaps it's the only one chance for them to meet after such a long time...
It is the opposite sex here that make this problem such a big deal to us. Whats with the thought of your other half laughing or having fun with the opposite sex. It worries you. You don’t trust the people around your bf/gf. And the last thing you wanna do is not trust your other half.

OPPOSITE SEX is the key word of why we don’t wanna let him/her go out. And maybe, we forget the other key which is OLD FRIEND. We meet with old friend and talk about past and present life, and you are the present life. He/she will talk about you to the other OLD FRIEND. Don't u feel proud of it? Of of how his/her eyes shining brightly when they talk about you?

Being positive, one can gain so much yet one can also lose... there is a choice, there is an option, but when it comes to being negative, one just loses out. We take a risk when we remain positive... we take a chance.
That chance may just turn our whole life upside down, bring us rainbows all year long, shine our darkest nights forever and nourish our soul for eternity.

So instead of questioning your self-esteem, why not being positive, about yourself, significant other and the whole situation?


Thursday, January 3, 2008


Will you count me in?
I've been awake for a while now
You've got me feelin like a child now
Cause everytime I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place
It starts in my toes
And I crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes I'll always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go
The rain is falling on my window pane
But we are hiding in a safer place
Under covers staying dry and warm
You give me feelings that I adore
They start in my toes
Make me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes I'll always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go
What am I gonna say?
When you make me feel this way
I just...mmm
And it starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes I'll always know
That you make me smile
Please stay for a while now
Just take your time
Wherever you go
I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth
It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feeling shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holding me tight
Wherever, wherever, wherever you go
Wherever, wherever, wherever you go
Wherever you go
Always know
Cause you make me smile even just for a while

Writing as an art form

Writing has always been a passion of mine for as long as I can remember. I used to have little pieces of paper in my wallet where I wrote down sentences which i found out to be extremely rare and generously amazing and well written. Some were self-written and some where quotes I heard somewhere. I even had poems in which I composed and learned to argue over with myself. I love writing because it was for myself. Nailing that perfect sentence at any given minute in order to just feel the satisfaction that it feels perfect. That one sentence that feels just right. I know that a well informed writer, writes about what the readers want to read. Beneficial to people who are reading it. Causes a chain reaction towards the intellectual mind. Makes them think, ponder, remember, and all of these things contributes to the growth of other writers. This term is known as Intertextuality.

Being a literature student i acknowledge the importance of beneficial writing. Being though, a romantic (by romantic i dont mean mushy or lovey-dovey but rather the Romantic period where early British authors such as Chaucer were born) i have always believed that good writing comes from the heart. Writing about what matters most to you. In a dillemma of authors, especially in the world of bloggers where almost all bloggers tend to run out of ideas about what to write about, this is a matter of concern.

The fact is this, writing comes from the mind. But great writing, comes from the mind, and heart. When Shakespeare wrote "You cannot truly hate nor love anyone until you have known them entirely" do you really believe he was thinking whether anyone would like what he wrote? Some disagreed with Shakespeare, because that sentence in all honesty, degrades the idea of love at first sight. Yet he is known to be one of the greatest authors of his time.

So the question lingers still. Why write about this? Why write about what to write about?

Simply because of this.

A writer needs to be good at what he/she does. They need that perfect writing. In some cases, advanced writers write about everything and anything but they have to make it perfect. Which is impossible but at the same time, can be achieved by just the right sentences or even a comma.
But what every writer must learn to realize (speaking of course to people who are wondering what to write about) put aside what others tell you. Remember that you are well on your way if you can "Remember the compliments and forget the insults..." - Bahz Lurhmann. Write about what is close to you. What people think about your writing should be placed second. If not third. It does not really matter. If you're thinking about selling a book, than by all means, write what others want to read. But if you are a writer who wants to feel the adrenaline rush of creating a simply amazing line or sentence or even an article then what you need most is heart. Not an audience, not a pay check, not an issue, but rather heart. Passion.

Someone once said "To play well, you have to have heart, i know, i had heart, and i know, without heart, you cannot play."

It is particularly the same in every situation in life. What have you want to write about. Have heart. Then the words will come screaming on your screen. It doesn't matter if it is just an issue that is trivial, or you just want to let out a scream, if you put heart into it. It will be PERFECT.

"Pay no mind to what the world tells you to be, but rather, pay mind to how you can tell the world what to be..."

Who said that??? Hanafee Abdul Rahman....

Enjoy writing people, and people will enjoy reading it :)

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Happy New Year 2008!

The beginning of 2008 was indeed a beautiful one for me. I was all smiles, filled with hope and thankfulness of what the New Year may bring. Of course, I can’t help but to celebrate the beginning of New Year with darling Seth. Thanks to mom and dad.
Actually, am too tired to write a long post.
Kene kemas barang lagi sikit and do final check for things because
tomorrow is gonna be a long journey way back to jungle of Pahang!!
So people,

Happy New Year 2008!!
Anyway, what's your resolution this year?