secret keeper. glow giver.

 Secret- keeper. Glow-giver.

[He calls me his muse. His angel. For I am the one who stands behind him, looking over his shoulder, whispering Secrets of Happiness in his ear. That I am the one who fills him up with hope and touches his heart with light.
Me.
"Where did you come from, my sweetheart,” he asks.
And I have no answer for him. But every time those words leave his lips, I soar to the highest mountain, fly towards cloud nine where a soft Golden Glow fills me up and lifts me up inside.
Strangely Happy, is what you can call this. Strange. Because it came out of Nowhere. Fills us up with Nowhere Happiness and takes us to Nowhere Land.
It is going Nowhere.
And yet we struggle on. Clinging to each other for little snatches of Happiness. Stubbornly trying to make sense of all the feelings we have for each other. Which we never reveal. Only mentioning the Little Things. And keeping the Big Things inside.
I miss you. I wish I was there with you. I care for you.
And with all those feelings, there is an incredible sense of helplessness because no matter how much we care for each other, yearn for each other, want each other, we cannot fight Reality. We can't fight the Real World.
Where he goes, she goes. Where I am, there they are.
No escape.
But I still stand there. Behind him. Tirelessly whispering in his ear, all the Secrets that I know, just to see that smile, just to hear those words, just to feel that feeling, even if those Secrets were for her.
She. Who doesn't seem to know.
Secret- keeper. Glow-giver.
My secrets. To make her happy. Make him happy.
My secrets. Happiness. With a touch of poison. (With every taste, you'll die inside. Just a little. I promise…) He hangs on to me, for the Butterflies, as much as I live for his Glow. But there was a time, when I finally stopped whispering and told him, I needed to go.
If you want me to.
Things will be easier. For you.
Please don't… erase me. And there were tears. Disbelief. Pain.
I hardened my heart at his words. It's not that difficult to erase somebody, I told him. Life is all about erasing, forgetting. And it's not for me. It is for you. But we both know, I wouldn't erase him. And he couldn't erase me. Not yet.
Every day my heart trembles with Happy Butterflies when he calls. When I hear his voice, barely concealing his Golden Happiness.
And so we struggle on. The Secret Keeper and the Glow Giver. Blissfully happy in each other's Temporary Company. Blissfully trying to forget that one day, The Time will come.
The Time when I will run out of Secrets. And Happiness with a Touch of Poison. (With every taste, you'll die inside. Just a little. I promise...) The Time when he will run out of Glow. And we will forget all about the Butterflies and the Golden Glow and how much we fought the Real World.
Until The Time came.
And Temporary, is what it always was, what it always has been.
Just… temporary. ]

-tq and credit to the witchinghour-