To give a person one’s opinion and correct his faults is an important thing. It is compassionate and comes first in matters of service. But the way of doing this is extremely difficult. To discover the good and the bad points of a person is an easy thing, and to give an opinion concerning them is easy too. For the most part, people think that they are being kind by saying the things that others find distasteful or difficult to say. But if it is not received well, they think that there’s nothing more to be done. This is completely worthless. It is the same as bringing shame to a person by slandering him. it is nothing more than getting it off one’s chest.
To give a person an opinion, one must first judge well whether that person is of the disposition to receive it or not. one must become close with him and make sure that he continually trust one’s word. Approaching subjects that are dear to him, seek the best way to speak and to be well understood. Judge the occasion, and determine whether it is better by letter or at the time of leave-taking. Praise his good points and use every device to encourage him, perhaps by talking bout one’s own faults without touching on his, but so that they will occur to him. Have him receive this in a way that a man would drink water when his throat is dry, and it will be an opinion that will correct faults.
This is extremely difficult. if a person’s faults is a habit of some years prior by and large, it wont be remedied. By bringing shame to a person, how could one expect to make him a better man?
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